I act like i don’t think about you and i could care less about you but to be honest, i am still so angry with you. Whenever i thin
I used to love school I always had perfect attendance and straight As. My grandma and I were always worried about school. She wanted me to get a scholarship.
When I moved in with my mom school wasn’t important to me anymore, I was too depressed to care. I ditched more than I actually went. I ditched for stupid reasons like to hang out with friends or get high.
I didn’t even know if i was going to graduate on time but I did with a scholarship :] like my grandma always hoped for me.
Kay, so I’m absolutely afraid of the dentist. I hate him, even if he is a nice guy. When I was three the dentist strapped me to his chair and pulled my four front teeth out. I spit blood on him and his assistant and told them “my daddy is going to kick your fucking ass!” This is NOT an exaggeration.
So I’ve always been terrified of the dentist. When I was little I would bring a beenie baby with me to squeeze when it hurt or I got scared. I remember one day I decided I was brave enough not to take one so I gave the one I had brought with me to my grandma. She looked shocked when I said I didn’t need it. The whole time I dug my finger nails into the chair wishing I had my beenie baby.
I had to go to the dentist today to get four cavities fixed (doesn’t matter how much I brush my teeth, I still get them) and one was underneath a filling that was already present, sooooo the dentist’s assistant put the numbing gel on my gums but got it all over, especially on my tongue. I had a panic attack and literally started gagging on the stupid stuff. They gave me the shots, which I hate cause they hurt like a bitch and I’m always worried he’s going to hit a nerve and I’ll permanently be numb. Anyways…They drilled on my already filled tooth for-ever! and it was fucking hurting, I of course started crying like a bitch. So they kept giving me more of the shots but they weren’t helping I could still feel EVERYTHING. Finally he put the filling stuff in after a lifetime’s worth of drilling and causing me pain. I was exciting to be done then he grabbed the drill again and started drilling the whole freaking filling.
So now I’ve decided to stop drinking soda. It is NOT worth the pain of cavities.
Hell yeah, Colton has been bugging me about dutch ovening (is that how you say it as a verb?) with him. My dad finally comes home for more than a night and we are all going to be dutch ovening (?) I’m so excited. It’s just like the old days. Well kind of.
On another note.
This is my fifth summer here. Every summer since I’ve moved out of my grandma’s in the eighth grade has been different. Different people coming and going and coming back and shit. Different things going on in my life, different boyfriends, different plans…
Last summer I lived pretty much on my own, I had a job, I paid for all my expenses, but I still lived with my older brother…I loved it. But this is my last summer in my eyes, from now on I have to be a grown up which scares me. I’m going to be starting college soon and living legitimately on my own. I’m so excited cause I love being on my own but I’m scared I’m not ready to be an adult yet.
I was going to move up to Orem and go to UVU and hopefully get back with my ex who I am still in love with but as it got really close I changed my mind, I want to stay here where I know things and I know people. I’m not ready to leave this stupid town that I can’t stand and not know anyone. Maybe in a little bit I will change my mind.
This has turned into rambling, I’m going to go shower now.
haha. Ugh I want to shroom again soooooo bad. it’s been forever. My friend Colton might get us some for graduation. I’m excited.
She loved before she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She’s not perfect, you aren’t either,
and the two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you
every second of the day, but she will give you a part of
her that she knows you can break her heart.
So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze
and don’t expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy,
let her know when she makes you mad,
and miss her when she’s not there.